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"Beretta versus Beretta"
We've shot from the hip before, but never like
this.
By Bruce McCall
Car and Driver, February 1989
Say, what's this gol'dang brouhaha between those two dueling
Berettas all about, anyway?
You'll recall that last August, Beretta U.S.A. Corporation
fired the first shot in a legal skirmish over GM's use of the
same name for its new mid-priced coupe model by slapping the
General with a $250 million lawsuit.
Is Beretta U.S.A.'s attempt to put a permanent hitch in the
Heartbeat of America a misfire, a smoke screen, a dud? Can the
average American consumer tell which Beretta is which, or has he
been bamboozled into thinking the car sold at Chevrolet dealers
was fabricated by a 462-year-old Italian gunsmith, while the
sidearm of the same name comes from high-tech GM plants in Linden,
New Jersey, and Wilmington, Delaware? Once you've seen one
Beretta, have you seen 'em both? What, actually, is a
Beretta?
Well, while the hired legal guns busied themselves with
courtroom crossfire, C/D--in the spirit of scientific
inquiry and impartial technical analysis for which this
publication is at least as famous as it is for its red-snapper-with-blueberry
recipes--decided to sort things out once and for all. When in
doubt, in other words, do a comparison test. Get the two
antagonists together, take 'em out, put 'em through their paces,
and let impartial fact decide.
For our test we chose a 1989 Beretta V-6 GTU two-door
notchback coupe and a 1989 Beretta sixteen-round Model 92F 9mm
Parabellum, the spiffiest models in their respective lineups. It
was a case of pitting a sophisticated 9mm sidearm (already
adopted as standard issue by elements of the U.S. military)
against the ultimate 173-cubic-inch sidekick, flagship of the
current best-selling line of sport coupes sold in America.
Even a C/D tester could discern major differences
between the two Beretti at a glance. The Italian version
lacks a Vista Vent sunroof, an overhead consolette, and an
electric remote trunk release even as options, for example,
whereas its U.S. counterpart offers all three. But before scoring
a point in favor of Our Side, note that the Italian rapscallion's
standard equipment includes a reversible magazine catch, a rear
sight driftable for windage, and a rotating firing pin,
ideas GM product planners probably haven't even fed into Ross
Perot's old computers yet.
If the contest is a draw in terms of standard equipment, what
sort of tale do the spec sheets tell? The four-wheeled Beretta
weighs in approximately 1100 times heavier than its namesake,
measures 22 times longer , and sits 10 times higher off the
ground. But curiously, these divergences tend to melt away when
the viewpoint is up close and personal. There, the U.S. version
seems somehow just right for a car, while its Italian counterpart
shapes up pretty much as a hand-held weapon should. So much for
cold statistics.
"Wouldn't want a 2847-pound revolver anyways!" went
one entry in the Official C/D Comparison Log. "Or a
41-ounce car!" reads the next.
But so much for the scientific arcana; let's get down to the nitti
gritti, where the rubber meets the road and the lead, so to
day, meets the flesh.
Both machines claim to be extremely quick performers, but in a
straight line it's simply no contest. We scored the fasted 0-to-60-mph
time in our history for the 92F: 0.000044 second--without drag
slicks or other trickery or even wheels, sixteen times in a row.
Maximum speed honors go the Italian on a platter as well, at
close to Mach 1.2 (878 mph), leaving the Chevy's 114-mph peak
seeming decidedly puny by comparison.
But what you gain on the swings you lost on the roundabouts;
when it comes to cornering the table abruptly turn. On the
skidpad, the Chevy's 0.84-g lateral acceleration rates exactly 0.84
g better than the Italian litigant; the Beretta 92F, in fact,
hates corners more than any device C/D has tested since
the 1964 AMC Marlin. You literally have to throw it into
every corner and let go, whereupon its natural tendency to
skitter erratically and slide toward the outside radius of the
turn is quickly undermined by an even more natural tendency to
decelerate and slither down to a complete stop--often in mid-
curve. And while the U.S. contender's gussied-up FE3 sport
suspension hardly lends it Citroen riding smoothness, even on
blacktop surfaces, C/D's testers unanimously griped about
what can only be described as the 92F's clattery, hippety-hoppety
way of moving over the road.
Sporting accuracy of an is not the American Beretta's forte.
Blame the vagueness of that power-assisted rack-and-pinion
steering and its 2.4 turns lock-to-lock for the fact that it's
seldom on the button in hitting just the spot you've pointed it
at--a deficiency in sharp contrast to the Italian's truly
ballistic accuracy. "Hits precisely where you point it,"
our log notes. "But don't point it at me!!!" snivels a
postscript.
We liked the solid heft and natural feel of the Italian
lightweight. It falls easily to hand; especially appreciated for
advanced performance use is a grip grooved front and back for a
firm hold even with wet hands or under rapid-fire conditions. No
such provision is designed into the five-speed Getrag shifter
fitted to our U.S. test sample, perhaps because while the Italian
aims to be on the hip of everybody in uniform, the American aims
only it be uniform among everybody hip.
The Italian's versatility and rugged practicality deserve
mention. It's designed to be used with gloves on; to be corrosion-resistant
under operating conditions that include complete sea-water
immersion; and its nonmetallic materials are not adversely
affected by government insert repellents. On the other hand, the
American Beretta trumps its somewhat dowdy looking any-color-you
want-as-long-as-it's-matte-black overseas rival eight ways from
Sunday for sheer eclat: thus, optional lace-look aluminum wheels;
gloss black exterior molding; distinctive GTU graphics.
As with so many previous C/D comparison tests, we found
ourselves torn and mixed and equivocating when the smoke had
cleared and it was time go sum up. Over and over again we found
it was a tie: no, the Italian Beretta doesn't even come with a
glove box--but you can blow away sixteen enemies if you go
Beretta, Italian style. You can field-strip the Italian in
minutes without tools, while the same task performed on the Chevy
would require countless hours and untold broken fingernails; but
then again, only in the Chevy can you avoid arrest if you pint it
at a gas-station attendant after midnight.
So there you have it: science and analysis render their
verdict anent the Beretta-versus- Beretta brouhaha.
Coming next: Lincoln Logs versus Lincoln Continental--and let
the chips fall where they may.
That's just one of the articles I found and as soon as I get to
the library I will transcribe more. Thanks for coming!
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