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"Beretta versus Beretta"
We've shot from the hip before, but never like this.
By Bruce McCall
Car and Driver, February 1989

Say, what's this gol'dang brouhaha between those two dueling Berettas all about, anyway?

You'll recall that last August, Beretta U.S.A. Corporation fired the first shot in a legal skirmish over GM's use of the same name for its new mid-priced coupe model by slapping the General with a $250 million lawsuit.

Is Beretta U.S.A.'s attempt to put a permanent hitch in the Heartbeat of America a misfire, a smoke screen, a dud? Can the average American consumer tell which Beretta is which, or has he been bamboozled into thinking the car sold at Chevrolet dealers was fabricated by a 462-year-old Italian gunsmith, while the sidearm of the same name comes from high-tech GM plants in Linden, New Jersey, and Wilmington, Delaware? Once you've seen one Beretta, have you seen 'em both? What, actually, is a Beretta?

Well, while the hired legal guns busied themselves with courtroom crossfire, C/D--in the spirit of scientific inquiry and impartial technical analysis for which this publication is at least as famous as it is for its red-snapper-with-blueberry recipes--decided to sort things out once and for all. When in doubt, in other words, do a comparison test. Get the two antagonists together, take 'em out, put 'em through their paces, and let impartial fact decide.

For our test we chose a 1989 Beretta V-6 GTU two-door notchback coupe and a 1989 Beretta sixteen-round Model 92F 9mm Parabellum, the spiffiest models in their respective lineups. It was a case of pitting a sophisticated 9mm sidearm (already adopted as standard issue by elements of the U.S. military) against the ultimate 173-cubic-inch sidekick, flagship of the current best-selling line of sport coupes sold in America.

Even a C/D tester could discern major differences between the two Beretti at a glance. The Italian version lacks a Vista Vent sunroof, an overhead consolette, and an electric remote trunk release even as options, for example, whereas its U.S. counterpart offers all three. But before scoring a point in favor of Our Side, note that the Italian rapscallion's standard equipment includes a reversible magazine catch, a rear sight driftable for windage, and a rotating firing pin, ideas GM product planners probably haven't even fed into Ross Perot's old computers yet.

If the contest is a draw in terms of standard equipment, what sort of tale do the spec sheets tell? The four-wheeled Beretta weighs in approximately 1100 times heavier than its namesake, measures 22 times longer , and sits 10 times higher off the ground. But curiously, these divergences tend to melt away when the viewpoint is up close and personal. There, the U.S. version seems somehow just right for a car, while its Italian counterpart shapes up pretty much as a hand-held weapon should. So much for cold statistics.

"Wouldn't want a 2847-pound revolver anyways!" went one entry in the Official C/D Comparison Log. "Or a 41-ounce car!" reads the next.

But so much for the scientific arcana; let's get down to the nitti gritti, where the rubber meets the road and the lead, so to day, meets the flesh.

Both machines claim to be extremely quick performers, but in a straight line it's simply no contest. We scored the fasted 0-to-60-mph time in our history for the 92F: 0.000044 second--without drag slicks or other trickery or even wheels, sixteen times in a row. Maximum speed honors go the Italian on a platter as well, at close to Mach 1.2 (878 mph), leaving the Chevy's 114-mph peak seeming decidedly puny by comparison.

But what you gain on the swings you lost on the roundabouts; when it comes to cornering the table abruptly turn. On the skidpad, the Chevy's 0.84-g lateral acceleration rates exactly 0.84 g better than the Italian litigant; the Beretta 92F, in fact, hates corners more than any device C/D has tested since the 1964 AMC Marlin. You literally have to throw it into every corner and let go, whereupon its natural tendency to skitter erratically and slide toward the outside radius of the turn is quickly undermined by an even more natural tendency to decelerate and slither down to a complete stop--often in mid- curve. And while the U.S. contender's gussied-up FE3 sport suspension hardly lends it Citroen riding smoothness, even on blacktop surfaces, C/D's testers unanimously griped about what can only be described as the 92F's clattery, hippety-hoppety way of moving over the road.

Sporting accuracy of an is not the American Beretta's forte. Blame the vagueness of that power-assisted rack-and-pinion steering and its 2.4 turns lock-to-lock for the fact that it's seldom on the button in hitting just the spot you've pointed it at--a deficiency in sharp contrast to the Italian's truly ballistic accuracy. "Hits precisely where you point it," our log notes. "But don't point it at me!!!" snivels a postscript.

We liked the solid heft and natural feel of the Italian lightweight. It falls easily to hand; especially appreciated for advanced performance use is a grip grooved front and back for a firm hold even with wet hands or under rapid-fire conditions. No such provision is designed into the five-speed Getrag shifter fitted to our U.S. test sample, perhaps because while the Italian aims to be on the hip of everybody in uniform, the American aims only it be uniform among everybody hip.

The Italian's versatility and rugged practicality deserve mention. It's designed to be used with gloves on; to be corrosion-resistant under operating conditions that include complete sea-water immersion; and its nonmetallic materials are not adversely affected by government insert repellents. On the other hand, the American Beretta trumps its somewhat dowdy looking any-color-you want-as-long-as-it's-matte-black overseas rival eight ways from Sunday for sheer eclat: thus, optional lace-look aluminum wheels; gloss black exterior molding; distinctive GTU graphics.

As with so many previous C/D comparison tests, we found ourselves torn and mixed and equivocating when the smoke had cleared and it was time go sum up. Over and over again we found it was a tie: no, the Italian Beretta doesn't even come with a glove box--but you can blow away sixteen enemies if you go Beretta, Italian style. You can field-strip the Italian in minutes without tools, while the same task performed on the Chevy would require countless hours and untold broken fingernails; but then again, only in the Chevy can you avoid arrest if you pint it at a gas-station attendant after midnight.

So there you have it: science and analysis render their verdict anent the Beretta-versus- Beretta brouhaha.

Coming next: Lincoln Logs versus Lincoln Continental--and let the chips fall where they may.

That's just one of the articles I found and as soon as I get to the library I will transcribe more. Thanks for coming!

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